How to Set Healthy Boundaries

There are many days where I could use this! I just say yes to everything, even though I don’t want to be there, don’t want to try it.


boundaries.jpg“I encourage people to remember that “No” is a complete sentence.” ~ Gavin de Becker

1. Identify current boundary crossers
The first step in setting healthy boundaries is identifying who it is that is the boundary crosser. How does this person make you feel? Most likely, telling this person how you feel will get you no where. They may even get satisfaction from hearing your plea. Remember, it is not uncommon for boundary crossers to be very purposeful in their boundary crossing behavior. This means they often know that they are doing it! If you feel taken advantage of, oppressed or bullied, it is important to make the conscious decision to change how you are interacting with them. Keep in mind, none of this will happen overnight. But, it definitely won’t happen unless you decide with the utmost conviction that something needs to change.

2. Consider how your past influences your present
Were you taught to set healthy boundaries? If…

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Fail harder


I read an article a while back about Johannes Haushofer, a professor of psychology and public affairs at Princeton University who wrote a rather unconventional résumé: rather than tout his accomplishments, instead he listed his failures.

Johannes Haushofer resume BLOG

“Most of what I try fails, but these failures are often invisible, while the successes are visible,” Haushofer wrote.

That rings especially true in our age of social media, with its constant stream of images and posts. It’s easy to forget that those posts are highly curated, and that for every beautiful image we see there are likely a hundred crappy ones.

But wouldn’t it be refreshing if we occasionally set aside our polished highlight reels, and shared something a little bit more real?

In that spirit, today I’m abandoning my hand-picked travel photos to show you a shoot that went horribly wrong.

It wasn’t a professional gig, thank God — I simply…

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School Starting

Tomorrow is the beginning of a new semester, at a new school. I know it shouldn’t be freaking me out, since this is my third school, I have a degree already… but it just really is. I’m just going to a new building, trying to find a new classroom, just something about it keeps making me not know how to stop my mind. It just keeps running and running, thinking about what is going to happen tomorrow. Will I even know where my class is going to be? What if  I go to the wrong building?

This is really starting to feel like the first day at UNK. Oh my goodness, that first day was super rough. I went to my very first class, 30 minutes early.. then found out it was the class before mine and I had gotten there so early that it was too early. It was so embarrassing. What if that happens again? That would be terrible, being a 26 year old that can’t lock up how to get to class on time. Now I’m never go to be able to sleep, I’m going to be that crazy old lady who doesn’t know what to do…

I better lock this shit up…


Today is one of those days where I just want to write, even though I don’t have anything to write about. I keep starting about something, then just stop, it never goes anywhere productive. So here I am, staring at my screen, hoping that something worth writing about will come to mind. I can’t help myself, maybe I need to drink a glass of wine and loosen my mind up. Although in an hour were are going to the gym, so that would not be the best idea. Today was one of those days that I will have spent 3 hours at the gym, one for Maya, one for Cole, and one for myself, just hanging out. My goal is going to be to try and do more rounds than Maya, you know, because it is all 26 year olds dream to beat their 11 year old niece. 

It just needs to happen, even though I lift heavier than her, I want to do more rounds than her.. Even though she did a pretty good amount. CrossFit has been something that I have begun to like going to, I’m pretty sure that is because I get to go with my sister, and that always makes everything better… Going to the gym with her just makes it more fun. Now that my annoying coworker is not there it is even better. He went to a class and now a level 1 coach, there is no way I would go to the gym back home if he was coaching, that would be the worst. 

Another thing that has been terrible today, both the kids have been over at friends houses, or at least in and out the door. It is almost as bad as when they are gone. They haven’t just wanted to hang out with me all day, what is going on here? Are they bored with hanging out with me? Let’s hope not, cause I was so bored all last week without them. Those two little monsters are like my favorite people to hang out with, which is crazy since they are young, but I guess that is what parents go through, they would rather hang out with their kids.. It’s the same type of thing.