At first I thought about going on and on about how being accepted doesn’t have to be about making yourself relevant to the world, but it’s about finally getting the notion that you are worth something. All of that is a load of shit. I worked hard for two years, and I got accepted into the University I wanted.
You read that right, ACCEPTED. No one had to tell me I was good enough or say anything, I knew how hard I had worked. When I called and told my dad, I could hear the smile on his face, saying how excited he was for me. For once I took the path I wanted to do and did it. There was not someone telling me that I needed to go to school, no one trying to get me to do something with my life, I did all of it on my own terms. And now I am going to keep on those terms.
Every post I keep saying how I want to do things for myself, well the more you say it the more it will happen. Today is the beginning of that truth. On top of that, I decided that I am going to walk at my community college graduation, I am going to quit my job and nanny for the summer, I am going to move early, I am going to do the things I want. Yes, I almost decided not to because of how some of the people in my life may not be completely ok with the choices I was making, the decided that was not going to be ok with me, and that is the most important thing here, me.
As I write this I’m sitting on my bed, looking around my apartment, ready for it to start now. Why can’t it be the end of May already? Why do we have to wait for our lives to change? I want to be in the mountain, with my favorite little kids, running in the sun. That was what made my decision. I want to control my life, not when I have to be places. It is time for me to take charge, take that first step, and I think in the last 4 days I have taken more steps for myself than I have in years.
I know who is guiding me, and tonight, I am going to go to bed and remember why I love this life I am living. There is a purpose, we just need to remember that sometimes.